Storytelling Corner #3

The Blueprint Years

21-30: The Family Years...Good and Bad

Kibbutz Grofit.

The teenage years are behind you. The emotional roller coaster. Your first drink, first sex, first love and first broken heart. College is over, and you're either in university or at work.

Now, your life's blueprint is being set. The decade has, in all my podcasts, been shown to be ten years of setting down roots, partnerships and families. For some, it was/is also a time of adventure. 

Weddings happen, and the families come together for a day of happiness and celebration. 

"In sickness and in health, till death do us part." 

For all the people I've known, these words have been said honestly. But we all know that today, the event is often followed by a break up. And children are involved. I have never been married, though I have three daughters, I had the breakups talked about here.

Companionship and Responsibility.

I have experienced the pleasure of companionship of partners who have loved me and the heartache of them leaving me because I could not settle down.

The early part of the decade is when work becomes the focus of the relationship. Responsibility falls on us to build a home and provide for children whilst employment becomes more constricted through progress. It wasn't like this when I was twenty one, but I'll come to that later. 

The decision to either buy or rent a home is more difficult now. I know a couple with, by their own account, in well paid work but are having problems finding a house of their choice-a home for their son and a place to build their future. 

As I said above, it was not like that in my day. I was able to find plenty of work and because of that I became the adventurer. It was a time when I was able to work for six months and then go on tour. My CV became so long that I needed extra pages.

The 1812 Overture.

The most memorable adventure came in 1973. In October 1973, in fact. I had been dating a girl for some months and felt the relationship was growing, especially when she invited me to London to meet her parents-or I thought it was to meet her parents. 

When we arrived, she told me she had bought two tickets for an outdoor concert at a stately home. The sky was blue, and the meadow inside a summer-green. Thousands of people sat on the grass, expectantly waiting for the orchestra to begin the concert from an island surrounded by water. 

The orchestra began and continued, without break, for five hours as the crowd stayed spellbound by the combination of sun, food, drink, and music. The sky changed from daylight to evening and eventually night. The sky now full of stars.

The conductor announced the finale...The 1812 Overture. The familiar tune covered the crowd, small lights scattered across the meadow as the orchestra came to the final bars of this historic music. 

The canons roared as the crescendo built, canons roared, rockets were fired and rose to the stars. It was the perfect end to an evening.

The lady turned towards me, looked into my eyes...I thought a beautiful moment was coming.

"I want to thank you for our time together, I am going to Israel on Monday." I was shocked.

As we drove back to her home, the thought came into my head, and refused to leave. "I want to go with her." And that's exactly what I chose to do. We said our goodbyes on the Sunday, and I returned home to arrange the great adventure. 

The Great Adventure

I called the kibbutz office in London to arrange the trip seven days later. I called into work, put in my notice to quit, called the landlords of my apartment to hand in the keys, and everything was in order. All that was left to do was say goodbye to my mates and parents for six months in Israel.

On the final Saturday, my 'farewell party' was arranged, and an evening's drinking was taking place when a barman asked me what the celebration was.

"I'm going to Israel, on Monday." 

"What about the war?" The barman asked.

"What war?"

The Yom Kippur war broke out earlier that day, and I missed the news.

The Kibbutz Office called to ask if I was still going to volunteer. I had no home and no work, and so the answer was easy.

"Yes!"

I flew out to the country on the Monday, seven days after my girlfriend had left. I knew which kibbutz she had joined; it was in the north. I was told I was needed at one of Israel's youngest kibbutzim in the south, just north of Eilat. We were at different ends of the country and unable to communicate.

The flight to Israel was strange; even now, I'm amazed how calm everyone was. Even when we approached Tel Aviv airport, to be told that there were no runway lights or no lit buildings. We were landing in a blackout.

The story of the six months in a war zone can be left for another day, but I hope you agree that this was an adventure. 

And my girlfriend? I saw her once toward the end of the journey when she told me she was engaged to an American kibbutznik.

The end of the Twenties

Just to show how important this decade is...I was in my early twenties with seven years, three relationships with wonderful women and three unique daughters. At the end of my thirties, I lost my first partner and first daughter because her family hated me. My second partner, who already has a special little girl, left me because I spent my time focused on a football coaching career. My third partner took me into my thirties and bore the two daughters I am most involved with now. She left me because i was still trying (and, as it turned out failing) to make a career as a professional coach).

I guess the cast was set. I am single, and it seems destined to be so until the next great adventure comes.

So, the decade of the twenties. What stories do you have?